Wednesday, April 2, 2008

Love is...

I never pictured my own wedding. I don't particularly like being the center of attention. There are so many components of a wedding that are too cliche. The staged photos, feeding each other the way. I like other people's weddings, I have a blast at other people's weddings. I just really never wanted to play the roll myself.

I think what I dislike most is the instantaneousness of the moment. Is it the "I do" moment? Is it the "first kiss," the "first dance?" We are going to spend the rest of our lives together, and it has to begin in one single moment? Not for me. I like to move sloooooowly. Like 7 years slowly. Year 1: friends. Years 2-4: date. Year 5: cohabitate. Year 6: nice, lengthy engagement. The pressure of 'instantaneous' is just too much for me. Love should reveal itself just as slowly, I think. I mean, we've got another 60+ years together (we have EXCELLENT genes) so why do all the fun stuff right up in the beginning?

And those moments keep on coming. For the past 6 years, when I cook, I have only fed him vegetarian meals with the occasional piece of fish, because I have a raw meat and poultry phobia. Can't touch it, can't cook it, can't eat it. I used to tell my mother that my family (should I ever have one) would be vegetarian or make their own meals because I would not go near the stuff.

And then the other day, I find myself blankly staring down into a bowl of slimy raw chicken breasts marinating in homemade sauce I had thrown together. How did this transgression occur? At what point had I so unknowingly crossed my own boundaries? But then, in typical unceremonious fashion, I realized.....for me, love is a bowl of slimy raw chicken breasts. And my man needs protein because 60 years is a marathon, not a sprint.

1 comment:

Kahori said...

Jen, that's love... Impressive!